E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial

Dear Mr. Spielberg,

Thank-you for making E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial, the single film that has impacted my life the most – even if I didn’t realize it when I first saw it at the age of four.

ET is the seemingly simple story of a young boy, Elliott (Henry Thomas), who meets an alien from another world. The two form an instant bond on par with John Boy and Old Yeller and every other boy and his pet story. Only thing is, E.T. is an alien, not a pet. He has a mind of his own and has to be kept a secret.

Much has been written about E.T. over the years. It’s beautifully shot, has a heart-warming story, features excellent performances all the way around, was at the top of the box office for more than a decade, sparked thousands of pieces of knockoff merchandise. To this day there are moments that still give me goose bumps: the bike going across the moon, the men coming through the window, the petrified girl with swarms of frogs at her feet.

E.T. is the film that is etched in my childhood memories. I remember going with a now-late family member and having her sneak gummie bears in. I thought it was a healthy alternative to popcorn as she was always looking out for what was good for me. I remember going again as a part of a scout outing and sitting with a bunch of my friends while my family sat far away. It was a small taste of independence.

Now, years later, I have come to see that I made an even deeper connection with E.T. I didn’t know it at the time but I do now. I was Elliott and E.T. was my story as it was for a generation of children raised in the absence of a father figure to look up to on a daily basis.

This is not an essay about the rights and wrongs of divorce. Rather it is a brief look at why a film is so profound to me on a deeply personal level. My parents divorced before I had my first memory. While I saw my dad regularly, it was only every other weekend. While I loved him and continued to love him, we didn’t see enough of each other. He has made an enormous impact on my life, but not as much as he would have had I been there to greet him as he came home from work every day.

Elliott goes through a similar situation. His parents recently split up. From the conversations, we realize that Elliott’s dad is somewhere in Mexico with his new girlfriend. Elliott yearns for his father’s presence, but he’s simply not there. Enter E.T., an alien who makes a biological connection with Elliott. Elliott chooses him to fill the void left by his dad.

Elliott’s raw emotions are what fuel my connection to the film. Whether it’s his blank stares out the steaming window while he mulls over the dinner dishes, smelling the Old Spice on his father’s shirt or trying to act tough in front of the older kids at the bus stop, these are all very real to me. I have experienced much of the things Elliott does – except maybe the whole alien friend thing. I may have had an invisible friend or two but no aliens.

Normally child actors steal the show in the wrong way. Think the upstaging in something like Meet the Fockers. It’s cute and funny but it takes away from the heart of the film. Here, though, the children are real. All of them. Whether it’s a young Drew Barrymore playing Gertie or Thomas as Elliott or the eldest brother Michael (Peter McNaughton), all of the child roles are genuine. They give heart rather than showing off all cutesy.

More than any other character in every film I have ever seen, I see more of myself in Elliott. I imagine I am not alone. His pain and emptiness over the absence of his father are emotions I have suffered through. Like the film, it came across somewhat in a way of denial, but those feelings were always in the front of my mind whether I want to admit it or not.

E.T. is a film I will continue to watch over and over for the rest of my life. It is one I will never grow sick of, no matter how many times I watch it. It is a time capsule to the memories of my childhood – a reminder of where I came from and the pain I went through whether I knew it or not. Like I don’t connect with some films, I doubt others will connect the same way to E.T. as I have. It is a deeply personal connection that I cannot share with anyone but myself really. This is a film that goes beyond what I like and don’t like. It gives me insight into who I am.

For that, Mr. Spielberg, thank-you.